Last month, I helped my mom clean out her attic. Between the Christmas decorations and old photo albums, we found a shoebox. Inside? Love letters my grandpa wrote to my grandma during World War II.
My mom sat on the dusty floor and read them out loud. We both cried. Not because the words were fancy or poetic. They weren't. He wrote about missing her coffee, her laugh, the way she hummed while cooking. Simple stuff. Real stuff.
That's when it hit me. We text "love you" a hundred times a day. But when was the last time any of us wrote something worth keeping in a shoebox for 80 years?
Here's the thing. You don't need to be a writer to create cards and letters people treasure. You just need to know a few simple tricks. And maybe care a little more than usual.
Why Your Words Matter More Than You Think
Let me share something wild. According to OnePoll's survey for Shutterfly, 62% of Millennials still prefer getting physical cards over digital ones. Gen Z? 59% want the real thing too.
These are the same people who live on their phones. So what gives?
"When someone takes time to pick a card, write it, and mail it, that carries weight," says Carlos Llanso from the Greeting Card Association. "You don't get that immediate reaction like a text. But that's actually the point. It shows you planned ahead. You thought about them when they weren't right in front of you."
Here's what really got me. People now sort their friends into categories. You've got your "text happy birthday" friends. Then you've got your "card-worthy" friends. The ones who matter enough for actual paper and stamps.
Which category do you want to be in?
The greeting card industry trends show we're buying more cards than ever. Nine out of ten American homes buy greeting cards. But most of them? They're generic. Forgettable. The kind that get tossed after a week.
You can do better. Way better.
How to Write a Love Letter (Without Sounding Like Shakespeare)
Forget everything you think you know about love letters. You don't need poetry. You don't need perfect grammar. You just need to be specific.
"The most effective love letter is the one that shines a light on the person and all they are doing," says Gina Hamadey, who wrote her husband thank-you notes for a month straight. "My husband said it was like seeing all the trees that make up the forest of our love."
Start here. Don't write "Dear John" and launch into feelings. Tell them WHY you're writing.
Try this: "I'm writing this because I realized I tell you I love you all the time, but I never tell you why."
Or: "I saw you making breakfast this morning, dancing to that terrible 80s music, and I had to write this down before I forgot how happy it made me."
See the difference? You're already in a real moment. Not some greeting card fairyland.
Now comes the fun part. Romance novelist Kristan Higgins suggests this trick: "Think about the first time you knew this was your person. Or make a list. If you've been together 16 years, write 16 things you love about them."
But here's where most people mess up. They go generic. "I love your smile." "You're beautiful."
Boring.
Get specific. "I love how you can't drink coffee without getting foam on your nose." "I love that you still tear up at dog adoption videos." "I love how you pretend you're not checking the doorbell camera to see if the Amazon guy is here yet."
Real moments. Real details. That's what love letter writing tips from experts always come back to.
One couple I know does this thing. Every anniversary, they write down three moments from that year they never want to forget. After 20 years, they've got 60 memories. Talk about a treasure.
Creating Birthday Cards That Don't Get Tossed
Birthday cards are the greeting card world's bread and butter. Birthday card statistics show they make up over 50% of all cards sold. Seven billion birthday cards a year. BILLION.
But how many do you actually remember getting?
Exactly.
Here's how to write one people keep forever. First, skip "Happy Birthday." They know it's their birthday. Start with a memory instead.
"Remember when we tried to bake your birthday cake from scratch and nearly burned down my kitchen?"
"This time last year, we were lost in Brooklyn trying to find that speakeasy for your birthday drinks."
"I still can't believe you thought you could eat that entire birthday pizza by yourself. (And almost did.)"
You're in their head now. They're smiling. They're remembering.
Next, tell them something you've never said. Birthday cards are permission to get mushy. But again, keep it specific.
Not: "You're a great friend."
But: "You're the only person who answers my 2 AM panic texts about whether I said something stupid at dinner."
For kids, it's even easier. They don't want philosophy. They want to know they're seen.
"I noticed how you helped your sister with her homework even though you were tired."
"You make our family funnier. Dad's jokes are terrible, but you laugh anyway."
"This year you learned to ride a bike, make pancakes, and beat me at Mario Kart. I'm proud of all three. (Okay, maybe not the Mario Kart thing.)"
The Secret Ingredient Nobody Talks About
Here's something interesting about memory. We remember things we can touch better than things we just see.
That's why your grandparents kept letters. Why photo albums hit different than Instagram. Why that concert ticket stub in your wallet means more than the 100 photos on your phone.
Some messages deserve more than paper that yellows and tears. Think about it. If you could only save five written messages from your whole life, what would they be?
Your wedding vows? The letter your kid wrote when they learned cursive? The last birthday card from grandma?
According to personalized gift trends research, people are spending 42 minutes on average customizing meaningful gifts. They want permanence. They want something that lasts.
I found this company that engraves messages on wood. Like, actual wood you can hold. One customer wrote her dad's favorite saying on wood after he passed: "Measure twice, cut once, love always." Her mom keeps it on the kitchen counter. Touches it every morning with her coffee.
That's next-level card giving. When words become furniture. When messages become heirlooms.
Quick Templates to Get You Started
Still stuck? Here are some templates that actually work.
Love Letter Starters:
- "I was going to text you this, but then I realized it deserved better..."
- "Three things I thought about you today..."
- "You probably don't know this, but..."
Birthday Message Formulas:
- Memory + Compliment + Wish
- "Remember when... + You taught me... + This year I hope..."
- Past + Present + Future format
Anniversary Card Ideas:
- "Year [X] was the year you..."
- "If I had to do it over, the only thing I'd change is I'd find you sooner"
- "[Number] years ago... Today... Always..."
For Harder Moments (yes, even pet memorials):
- "The house feels different without..."
- "Thank you for teaching us..."
- "We were lucky because..."
These aren't scripts. They're starting points. Jump off spots for your real feelings.
Make Your Words Count
Look, I'm not saying every card needs to be a masterpiece. Sometimes "Happy Birthday" is enough.
But sometimes it's not.
Sometimes you need to tell someone they matter. Really tell them. In a way they can hold onto. In words they'll read again on bad days. In messages that outlast your phone's next update.
Start with one card this week. Pick someone who deserves more than a text. Write three specific things you love about them. Or one memory you share. Or just why you're grateful they exist.
Use actual paper if you can. Or find another way to make it permanent. Because fifty years from now, someone might find your words in an attic. And they might sit on a dusty floor and cry the good kind of tears.
Isn't that worth 27 minutes of your time?